What is child sexual abuse?
Child sexual abuse is any sexual interaction between a child and an adult (or some interactions with another child, when that child has more size, maturity, or power). Sexual abuse can include both touching and non-touching activities. Touching acts may involve touching of the vagina, penis, breasts or buttocks, oral-genital contact, or sexual intercourse. Non-touching actions can include exposing one’s own private parts, exposing a child to pornography or sexually explicit material, or looking at a child’s private parts for reasons other than health or safety. Sexual abuse can also include the commercial exploitation of children (trading a child’s sexual image or activity for something of value, like money, drugs, or a place to stay). Abusers often do not use physical force, but may use play, tricks, threats, or other forms of abuse to take advantage of children and make sure they don’t tell anyone - this is called grooming.
Child Sexual Abuse 101, MECASA
Defining Child Sexual Abuse, Stop It Now!
Who is sexually abused?
Any child may be sexually abused, no matter their race, religion, gender, or family economic status. About one in five girls and one in 20 boys experience childhood sexual abuse, and children between the ages of 7 and 13 are at the highest risk of abuse.
Child Sexual Abuse Statistics, National Center for Victims of Crimes
Child Sexual Abuse Statistics, Darkness to Light
How often does child sexual abuse happen?
About one in five girls and one in 20 boys experiences child sexual abuse. In Maine, about 7 percent of high school students (10.0% of girls and 4.1% of boys) report that they have been forced to have sex in their life. In Maine, 10% – 15% of girls and 5% of boys report having been forced to have sexual contact in any way in their life. There are many other kinds of sexual abuse that don’t include physical contact, and sexual abuse is one of the most under-reported crimes in the country – so the numbers of victims are much higher than reports to law enforcement may tell us. Half of all calls to Maine’s sexual assault crisis and support line are from or about people under 18.
The Magnitude of the Problem, Darkness to Light
Who are the abusers?
Most of the time, child sexual abusers are trusted adults or family members. This is part of why it’s important to understand healthy boundaries with children, to recognize problem behaviors, and how to talk with other adults about their actions when it looks like they may have unsafe or unhealthy relationships with children.
Perpetrators, Darkness to Light
Why don't victims tell?
Sexual abuse is one of the most under-reported crimes in the United States. Many survivors wait until adulthood to tell someone. About 85% of minors who are sexually abused never tell, or wait to tell, about the abuse.
There are many reasons for this. Children may fear of what will happen to them or their family if they tell. Many children are also scared no one will believe them and feel shame or guilt. They might fear what might happen to the abuser if the individual is a family member or loved one. Most abusers are part of a child’s family or community. The closer the victim is to the abuser, the less likely he or she will disclose the abuse. It can be hard for a child to understand the abuse is happening or to feel safe telling other adults. Sometimes the behaviors seem normal - when they are so used to it they may not know it’s not safe.
Because it is so hard for children to recognize or talk about abuse, it is important for adults to recognize unhealthy behaviors, and to believe and respond when children do talk about their experiences.
There are many reasons for this. Children may fear of what will happen to them or their family if they tell. Many children are also scared no one will believe them and feel shame or guilt. They might fear what might happen to the abuser if the individual is a family member or loved one. Most abusers are part of a child’s family or community. The closer the victim is to the abuser, the less likely he or she will disclose the abuse. It can be hard for a child to understand the abuse is happening or to feel safe telling other adults. Sometimes the behaviors seem normal - when they are so used to it they may not know it’s not safe.
Because it is so hard for children to recognize or talk about abuse, it is important for adults to recognize unhealthy behaviors, and to believe and respond when children do talk about their experiences.
Reporting Sexual Assault: Why Survivors Often Don’t, Maryland Coalition Against Sexual Assault
How will I know if its happening?
The most accurate sign of abuse is if a child tells you or someone else that it’s happening. Other signs of child sexual abuse vary and there may not be any signs you can see. Signs of sexual abuse could be on children’s bodies, but more likely how they act or feel, and in adult actions as well. In most cases, no one action will indicate abuse; adults should look for patterns of behavior in children or other adults.
Signs an adult may be abusing or at-risk to sexually abuse a child:
Poor physical boundaries – getting in a child’s personal space, hugging or tickling even after being asked to stop, ignoring verbal or non-verbal cues from a child or adult to back off.
Poor emotional boundaries – having a relationship with a child or teen that is more appropriate for an adult friendship, such as sharing secrets or turning to children for emotional support. Having ‘secret’ or ‘special’ time or activities with particular children, especially alone.
Poor sexual boundaries – talking about sex or bodies with or around children in ways that are not appropriate, such as telling sexual jokes, talking about children’s bodies in a sexual way, or talking about their bodies in a demeaning or degrading way.
In younger children, signs may include:
Knowing about sex acts that are odd or unexpected for their age
Saying, drawing, or doing anything sexual toward people, animals, or things
Masturbating until they are hurt, many times a day, or using items or thrusting
Problems with sleep, self-harm, fear of certain adults, or not wanting to be alone
In older children, early sexual activity with peers, or a lot of sexual activity may be a sign. Other signs include problems with eating, running away, substance abuse, acting self-destructive, and doing unlawful, dangerous, or risky things.
In all children, signs on their body include very early pregnancy, genital injury or pain, or urinary tract infections (UTIs), problems using the bathroom. Signs in how they act or feel include problems with their peers, problems at school, and changes in how they act.
As with all of these signs, it is important to consider the child's context or community. Some behaviors may be safe and normal in the context of one culture or community, but not in another (for instance, behaviors like bed-sharing are common in some cultures and discouraged in others; some families are comfortable with more nudity while others are not, etc.).
Signs an adult may be abusing or at-risk to sexually abuse a child:
Poor physical boundaries – getting in a child’s personal space, hugging or tickling even after being asked to stop, ignoring verbal or non-verbal cues from a child or adult to back off.
Poor emotional boundaries – having a relationship with a child or teen that is more appropriate for an adult friendship, such as sharing secrets or turning to children for emotional support. Having ‘secret’ or ‘special’ time or activities with particular children, especially alone.
Poor sexual boundaries – talking about sex or bodies with or around children in ways that are not appropriate, such as telling sexual jokes, talking about children’s bodies in a sexual way, or talking about their bodies in a demeaning or degrading way.
In younger children, signs may include:
Knowing about sex acts that are odd or unexpected for their age
Saying, drawing, or doing anything sexual toward people, animals, or things
Masturbating until they are hurt, many times a day, or using items or thrusting
Problems with sleep, self-harm, fear of certain adults, or not wanting to be alone
In older children, early sexual activity with peers, or a lot of sexual activity may be a sign. Other signs include problems with eating, running away, substance abuse, acting self-destructive, and doing unlawful, dangerous, or risky things.
In all children, signs on their body include very early pregnancy, genital injury or pain, or urinary tract infections (UTIs), problems using the bathroom. Signs in how they act or feel include problems with their peers, problems at school, and changes in how they act.
As with all of these signs, it is important to consider the child's context or community. Some behaviors may be safe and normal in the context of one culture or community, but not in another (for instance, behaviors like bed-sharing are common in some cultures and discouraged in others; some families are comfortable with more nudity while others are not, etc.).
Tip Sheet: Behaviors to Watch Out For When Adults are with Children, Stop It Now!
Tip Sheet: Warning Signs of Child Sexual Abuse in Children, Stop It Now!
What are some of the effects of child sexual abuse?
Child sexual abuse has lasting impacts on survivors and their families. It also affects our communities in a lot of ways. The impacts on victims and survivors vary and may include long-lasting bodily and mental health problems.
Child sexual abuse is also very costly. According to a recent report, the total cost for one year of child maltreatment cases is about $124 billion.
If we believe children and get them the help they deserve, they can grow up happy and healthy after child sexual abuse.
Child sexual abuse is also very costly. According to a recent report, the total cost for one year of child maltreatment cases is about $124 billion.
If we believe children and get them the help they deserve, they can grow up happy and healthy after child sexual abuse.
Child Sexual Abuse Long-Term Consequences, MECASA
Consequences, Darkness to Light
How do I report sexual abuse? What if I don't know for sure?
Call the Maine Department of Health and Human Services’ Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-452-1999. If you know where the abuse happened or is happening, call the police in that city or town. If you think a child is being abused, you do not have to know for sure to make a report.
Child Abuse Reporting, Maine Office of Child and Family Services
What should I do if a child tells me they are being abused? How can I get help for a child?
It is important to stay calm if a child tells you they are being abused. Listen to them and do not blame them. Thank the child for telling you and tell them you support them. Do your best not to ask the child too many questions, and don’t ask a child ‘why’ they did or did not do anything about the abuse – it’s never a child’s fault when an abuser targets them.
If you need help now, call 911. If you and the child are in a safe place, please call the free, private 24-hour statewide sexual assault crisis and support line at 1-800-871-7741 to talk to a trained person who can help you and connect the child with more help.
If you need help now, call 911. If you and the child are in a safe place, please call the free, private 24-hour statewide sexual assault crisis and support line at 1-800-871-7741 to talk to a trained person who can help you and connect the child with more help.
What Should I Do After A Child Tells?, Stop It Now!
What to Do If Your Child Discloses Sexual Abuse, National Child Traumatic Stress Network
What if I was abused, but it was a long time ago?
It is never too late to get help for you or a friend. Every region of Maine has dedicated sexual assault support centers, who offer free and confidential 24-hour helpline support, one to one support, support groups, community training and education about sexual violence, and sexual violence prevention programming. For more information about sexual violence prevention education, contact your local sexual assault support center.
Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse, RAINN
Adult Survivor Resources and Support, Stop It Now!
How can I prevent my child from being abused?
Preventing sexual abuse starts at birth and includes ideas that might be new for many of us: focusing from the earliest days on supporting children’s bodily autonomy (their ability to control their bodies independently); reducing secrecy and shame about bodies and bodily functions; and promoting a respectful and curious approach to children and their bodies – including their gender and genitals, and their future as sexual people.
The Learn section on this website has much more information about preventing abuse and supporting healthy bodies and boundaries for children.
The Learn section on this website has much more information about preventing abuse and supporting healthy bodies and boundaries for children.
Child Sexual Abuse Prevention Handout, MECASA
Child Sexual Abuse Prevention Resources, MECASA
Preventing Child Sexual Abuse, Stop It Now!
How Can I Protect My Child From Sexual Assault?, RAINN
Is my kid (or another kid's) behavior normal?
It can be hard to tell the difference between “normal” sexual behaviors and behaviors that are signs that a child may be developing a problem. Sexual play that is more typical or expected in children will more often have the following traits:
Between children who have an ongoing mutually enjoyable play and/or school friendship.
Between children of similar size, age, and social and emotional development.
It is lighthearted and spontaneous. The children may be giggling and having fun when you discover them.
When adults set limits (for example, children keep their clothes on at day care), children are usually able to understand and follow the rules.
Between children who have an ongoing mutually enjoyable play and/or school friendship.
Between children of similar size, age, and social and emotional development.
It is lighthearted and spontaneous. The children may be giggling and having fun when you discover them.
When adults set limits (for example, children keep their clothes on at day care), children are usually able to understand and follow the rules.
What is Age Appropriate?, Stop It Now!
Is there someone I can talk to if I have more questions?
Yes! Every region of Maine has a sexual assault support center, who offers free and confidential 24-hour helpline support (call 1-800-871-7741 anytime to get connected to a local advocate), one to one support, support groups, community training and education about sexual violence, and sexual violence prevention programming. For more information about sexual violence prevention education, contact your local sexual assault support center.
What is a Children's Advocacy Center?
A Children's Advocacy Center (CAC) is a child-focused, facility-based program where people from law enforcement, child protection, prosecution, mental health, medical and victim advocacy, and child advocacy work together. They interview children who have disclosed sexual abuse. They also make team decisions about investigation, treatment, management, and prosecution of child sexual abuse cases. The primary goal of CACs is to ensure that children disclosing abuse are not further victimized by the intervention systems designed to protect them.
Maine's Network of Children's Advocacy Centers, MECASA
For specific questions about CACs, reach out to Jess Russo
Title IX
Title IX is a civil rights law that creates a process to protect students from sexual harassment, gender based discrimination, and sexual violence at school. This guide, created in partnership with Pine Tree Legal, explains more about the process, what it involves, and the rights of the student.
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The Children's Safety Partnership is a program of the Maine Coalition Against Sexual Assault (MECASA) and a partnership between MECASA, the Maine Department of Education, Maine's local sexual assault support centers, and schools across the state.